Sunday, August 22, 2010

Grand and Shit

Operation Rose Has a Life has officially begun.

WHEEEEE!!!!

Ohmahgigglygodstrousers I have been so ridiculously busy since the last time I posted, which seems like it was an eon ago. I am still living with my parents, of course, which automatically knocks the coolness factor of Rose’s Life down a couple letter grades. But, by “have a life,” what I mean is do more than sit on my ass, read blogs, watch America’s Next Top Model and feel like shit. As you can see, the standards are not set terribly high for this Life of which I speak.

However, while I am the ebullient optimist for other people’s lives, I still remain the permanent devil’s advocate for my own (hey, someone’s gotta do it, and if it wasn’t me, I would be more pissed off at that person. IT’S LOGICAL harumpf). Therefore, I feel the need to make a list of the new developments (and some old) in my Life, in the form of Grand and Shit.

Grand: I started two classes at City College (Multimedia Studies and Beginning html and Web Design).
Shit: I just want to be back at Amherst, my lovely college in Massachusetts.

Grand: A bunch of friends from college came to visit me in San Francisco last week and we had a total blast together!!
Shit: I will not see them for a very long time. This semester, I will be around a grand total of ZERO friends. Plus parents. Which throws that total for the negative numbers.

Grand: I am leaving today for a week-long driving trip with my boyfriend. OH MY GREAT WADDLING MAN IN THE SKY I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED!!!!!
Shit: Like above, I will see him for one glorious week, and then not for 4 months.

Grand: My boyfriend is a wonderful, amazing young man that loves and supports me unconditionally.
Shit: He can make me eat. I am really freaked out about this. Like, SCARED out of my fucking mind.

Grand: I have more freedom now that I am in school, including getting to ride my bike all over the city!
Shit: Freedom makes my mother bat shit insane with worry. When my mother is bat shit insane, my life is hell and freedom becomes slightly less existent. Nuff said.

Grand: I got my parents to trust me more by agreeing to go see a Dietitian and telling them it was what I wanted to do because I am working toward my recovery. Turned out to be one of the wisest moves in terms of leveraging power mwahaha.
Shit: I now have to see a Dietitian. Shitmonkeys.

Grand: I am now 120 lbs YAY WEIGHT LOSS!!!
Shit: If I lose more than 2.5 more lbs, I will not be readmitted to my school. Which means I have to start maintaining. And I am absolute crap at maintaining.

(Side note: This is actually a huge issue that has been eating my cranium since I saw the Big D a week ago. I have really gotten myself into a tight spot, and am going a tad bit crazy. But I can’t do it justice in this post, so we shall save till later the subjects of Weight Maintenance and Rose’s belated realization that she might have a Hardcore Babykiller of an eating disorder.)

So that’s basically what’s up in my head. I’m sorry for my absence, and I hope none of you lovelies takes it personally or gives up on me. Because I’m still here, crazy as ever!! I just might not be quite as obsessively attentive given my current state of occupation. Lo siento.

But wait, there's more!! A friend of mine took this absolutely amazing picture of me (he’s a professional photographer, so he managed to make me not look as fat and ugly as I am. Or at least as I think I am. Because I am the only really objective judge, right?). Anyway, I haven’t posted a current picture of myself, so I thought, what the hell? Enjoy!

15 comments:

  1. I enjoy your craziness and your sense of humor is awesome, never failing to make me giggle at least a few times while reading =).

    That's a really great pic of you! You are NOT fat & ugly- you are thin and beautiful, in my humble opinion ^^.

    I loved it when you wrote how living with your parents knocks your coolness grade down a few letters! That's totally how I feel- living at home sucks but until more money comes in, I'm stuck.

    Freedom makes my mother crazy too- she's the uber paranoid christian that's like, "you're going to die or something really awful is going to happen to you which is why you must NOT drive the interstate even though you are perfectly capable of operating a motor vehicle" type. Or something along those lines...

    Great job with the weight loos! I'd give anything to see 120- which I haven't seen since like 6th grade (no joke). Good luck with the maintaining- even though it might seem difficult- you can do it =). Hope you have tons of fun on your trip too!

    <3

    ReplyDelete
  2. hahaha I love your blog your so funny!

    and you are one gorgeous chica XP

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh loved this Grand-Shit idea :)
    and you're funny too.
    The photo is amazing indeed and so is your tights!

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  4. You look amazing you should definately try and maintain!!! and sorry dietians really do blow! but they are great for leverage. and so how long can before you can go to school in massachusetts?
    I'm so glad your back i really missed you!
    xo Lyndee

    ReplyDelete
  5. Wow, this is a neat blog. I'm glad you found me, so I could find you. =]

    Maintaining is totally the worst. How can you go from hardly eating to eating enough to stay "healthy" without gaining weight back? Ugh, if people just understood how it feels healthier to lose than to maintain... >.<

    Enjoy your AMAZING trip with the boyfriend. I'm sure it will be fabulous!

    ReplyDelete
  6. :-) I would never give up on you

    The photo is wonderful. you are wonderful. I love being able to put a face to a blog

    Good luck with the plan. Maintaining is worth it to get back to that college school place. that looks wonderful. Well, logically it is worth it, but I understand emotions dont think logically.

    I just want you to be happy x

    ReplyDelete
  7. Your posts always make me laugh!
    I'm sure you'll be fine and that you will make new friends. Hope your trip with your boyfriend goes well!
    Love the pic by the way! It's lovely and you look great
    good luck with everything!
    <3

    ReplyDelete
  8. woaaah, I'm pulling up to the milk bar like, HI.

    I think (coz I'm still loco in the cocoa) I'll only comment one article of shit: your boyfriend making you eat.

    wellllll, let's say you phrase and then think of it in a less threatening way. would that ease your fear?

    like, "boyfriend and I will be sharing some taste experiences together...mmmm, tasty sharing," OR "boyfriend loves me and has no desire to participate in random acts of starvation, nor should he, therefore it is logical that he would want me to eat while with him," OR "fuck it. those noms are nomworthy. nom nom, kiss kiss, nom, kiss, until all noms are burned up by kissing?"

    Anyhooooo, congrats on classes and try to enjoy all that youth n shit you've got gushing out of your pores. ;p

    ReplyDelete
  9. That is a gorgeous photo :) I am so glad you posted a picture!

    I am sorry about the shit part of your list. It's going to be hard, but you'll get through it. And we can totally help you out in the maintaining weight department. If us girls can't help out with something diet-related, then I don't know who can! Stay strong, sweetie xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oooh, very pretty picture!!!
    Hang in there, lovely. Things will start to become more clear. <3

    ReplyDelete
  11. wow you look fabulous. and im loving the tights!

    and let me just say,

    YOU HAVE GREAT BOOBS!
    lol. i wish i had knockers like that (yeah when you have awesome boobs they are knockers in my book)
    stay strong
    meg

    ReplyDelete
  12. You're cute, you know that? And your posts make me smile - beam :)
    We need a bit of sunshine in this blog world, thank you xx

    ReplyDelete
  13. heya. just stumbled along your blog in my travels and i have to say it made me laugh more than anything else today. your pic is gorgeous by the way. xo

    ReplyDelete
  14. Just read your blog from the beginning and love it! I can't wait for your next post.

    And you're so beautiful and thin! I love those tights...they make you legs look amazing!

    ReplyDelete
  15. You are adorable.

    ReplyDelete